so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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