she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize