I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
