youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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