Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
