If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
