Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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