i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
