I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
porn star boner night. come get it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
