I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
