I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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