There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it was like eating out sand paper
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
