So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
