Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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