i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
