2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
