i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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