you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize