I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
