I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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