DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
