Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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