Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
