a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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