Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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