I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
