Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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