Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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