bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
