YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
