You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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