i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
