This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
