nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
