I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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