Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
