I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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