Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
