All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
