look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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