is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
