and you said cock pushups were impossible
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
