Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize