she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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