why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize