I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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