What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize