so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
As shirtless as possible
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
