I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
