so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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