no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize