similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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