can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
