good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
