rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
