So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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