I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
