Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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