these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
