home. puking in laundry basket.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
