So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
