I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
