the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
