grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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