remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
