I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
