I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
