Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
