we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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