This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
