it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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