i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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